Lines That Ought To Be In A Movie Sometime
- Not to be confused with Lines That Shouldn't Ever Be In A Movie
Lines That Ought To Be In A Movie Sometime are lines ... that ought to be ... in a movie ... sometime. I mean, it's pretty self-explanatory. And it belongs in a list. So here we go!
"Just shoot her!"
Situation
One of the main villain's henchmen has just captured a dangerous female (such as an escape artist or ruthless killer or annoying child) and has her at gunpoint. The villain needs to continue on to pursue her comrades that escaped, and gives quick instructions to the henchman:
Line
- "If she moves, shoot her. If she doesn't move .... forget that, just shoot her!"
The Point
The audience, on noticing that a female has been captured, expects a rescue or escape later in the film. The girls are always rescued or else escape. A smart villain who really wanted to kill them wouldn't tempt fate.
"I don't know what I'd do without you..."
Situation
The hero is trying to express his/her appreciation for the help, advice and/or technical expertise of a cold emotionless friend such as a robot or Vulcan who has just saved his/her life
Lines
- Hero: "I don't know what I would do without you."
- Friend: (in a monotone voice) "I also do not know what you would do without me. Probably die!"
The Point
The audience expects, "Me too" or "I don't know either" or "I don't know what I would do without you!" in return, but instead gets this unexpected reply which can be interpreted as either sarcastic or blunt.
"All my friends have been just DYING to meet you..."
Situation
A fan of a villain, such as the Joker, gets to meet his idol for the first time.
Lines
- "All my friends have been just DYING to meet you ...."
- "... and I would know, because I'VE BEEN THE ONE KILLING THEM!"
The Point
Surprise the audience with a dangerous psychopath where they expected a harmless fanboy.
"Is that banana bread?"
Situation
The hero is running to save his girlfriend but sees a sidewalk bakery.
Lines
- Woman at sidewalk bakery: Baked goods! Baked goods!
- Hero: I have no ti- Is that banana bread?
The Point
To help the audience relate to the movie because, hey, who doesn't like banana bread?
"Honey, who shrunk my jeans?"
Situation
The household man/main character is rushing to get to his golf game in time after recently rescuing a maiden in distress (He is currently in his alter-ego). However, As he goes through his pants drawer, he discovers that his jeans have become to small to wear comfortably, the painful way.
Lines
- Hero: Honey, I just got back from saving this really hot chic-- I mean innocent old lady, and I have a tee time at one thirty. FIx me up some lunch, please.
- Lady: Being a super hero and all, I would expect you to be able to make your own lun--/door slams
- Hero: Now, to super change! /attempts to put on jeans Honey, who shrunk my jeans?
The Point
To bring a real-life application of "Honey, I shrunk ______", because we all know those other movies are fake loads of crap that will never happen.
"I dislike the blacks"
Situation
A member of the KKK discusses his ethnic preferences.
Lines
- KKK guy 1: So, which is your least favourite ethnic group?
- KKK guy 2: I dislike the blacks.
The Point
To emphasise the character's disliking of the blacks.