Media

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“A lack of reconnaissance is prerequisite for items such as these. Once in the future I shalle explain the lack of lacklustre gems within this building, but for now, please consider purchasing large amounts of molten lead — it has so many uses! Who doesn't want to disfigure their pets or solidify lead? — that is one of the mysteries of life. For this weekend only you can purchase 230 tons of lead and get a piece of my clothing free! I only have one piece left, which explains the police's interest in me. Hey there man in a chicken suit! Wanna buy some molten lead? I'll throw in this sock I have over my head if you do!”

- A homeless guy on yelling at people in a shopping mall

Media (singular:medium) is a method of advertising. This can be done in many ways, but all people stick with loans, mortgages, credit cards and car insurance. Media (sometimes referred to as The Media) is commonly described as a modern sieve, in which creativity is filtered and goes down the sink, and all that's left behind is big lumps.

How media broke down barriers

File:TheRealSlimStalin.gif
One of the quadrillions of results of the media

Many have achieved nationwide infamy due to the fact that despite media being a method of communication in which boundaries are broken, a virus-like social conscience has led to the ostracism of those most likely to make the world a better place.

The media has also led to various forms of entertainment; such as watching fat people fall over, moronic catchphrases, watching 24 hours of people doing everyday things (such as watching 24 hours of people doing everyday things) and, most importantly, porn.

Theories on the world's destruction relating to media; but mostly porn

The porn industry, which grew massively with the invention of media, has become such a vital part of, for example, digital television, that were one regular subscriber to The Fantasy Channel, Playboy or Gay TV to stop subscribing due to boredom or sensory numbing then the world would genuinely turn into solid methane; and then explode. For more on this see here.

Another interesting fact on media is the role of banana skins in relation to stereotypes. It appears that if this ratio were to slip (oh, I crack myself up) then the world would explode twice. This, being more extreme although far less likely to happen, has led to infinite usage of stereotypes and only one banana skin being slipped on (sometimes by an armoured vehicle) per week. While this goes on people gradually lose interest in shows like "Lesbos do Boy/Girl".

For cynics, misanthropes and lovers of irony the world will soon be paradise, as I'm about to cancel my subscription to Gay TVPlayboy. Right now I'd either learn to extract maximum nutrition from solidified then exploded methane or plan my last words, if I were you. Don't worry about dying— you'll be satisfied to know that Angus Deayton will survive and walk on Earth, and his career will join you in hell, where you can bully it.

“U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 U gay lolz!1 PHAG!!21.12938”

- You on sending Angus Deayton's career spam over Hell's kitchenMSN service

The world will soon be Satan's!!111

...or maybe I should keep watching "Das Pussyvator"? Well, it is quite interesting..........
I'll kill the world tomorrow, honest!
Wow... her legs are bending funny, is that meant to happen?