Mental retardation

This not-so rare disease is what most people suffer from. It infects the mental...erm...cortexius Brainius nerve, and causes damage to said nerve.

It can only be cured by the drinkage of Irn Bru, the manly drink from Scotland that nobody likes, not even the Scots, but they won't admit it because its the only thing Scotland has anymore. Except Scotch, haggis, plaid skirts, and the inventor of most things, Ted "Super-Ted" McTeddington McTed the teddeth third.