More Fun with Randy

From Uncyclopedia test II
Jump to navigation Jump to search
WARNING! Semi-preceded by this /WARNING!

The employer shook Randy's hand, slyly fixing on a name tag and cupping Randy's genitals.

"Congratulations and welcome to Yawn.co! You start tommorrow. You'll be starting in the deliveries office, making cups of tea for other people higher up in the employment heirachy. Overtime is optional but you may be required to make coffee if you choose to do so."

"Sure, that sounds swell!"

Randy didn't really know how to make coffee.

"Hang on a minute, phonecall." said the employer, waving a hand importantly between him and Randy's grinning face.

"Hey Phil, ........... .......... ......... ...... mhhmmm, ..... ............. on a corporate level?......... mhhmmm ............... ...................... ......yeah, ok ............ ....................................... ........................ but won't that increase our overheads? ....... .................................................. ............. it won't? ...... ..................... ...... ................................................... ........ oh yeah! All night long baby! ..................................................... ............... ................. ...................... she was your sister? .............. ...................................................... ................... ...................... ................... ........................... ........................... ....................... ....... sure thing boss."


The phone clicked off.

"Change of plan little man. As of now Yawn.co is officially owned by Penistries, the pornographic pastry company. All jobs are being adapted with immediate effect." The employer paused to unclip his tie, and attach a kinky rubber mouth gag. "Are you still interested?"

"uhh.. would I have to get naked at all?"

"Oh no, don't worry, you'd still be making tea. Just for unhappy silicone breasted Austrians who are periodically rendered unable to walk."

"I can do that!"

Randy could not do that.

"Brilliant, welcome back aboard! See you monday."

Randy nodded to the man politely and got up to leave. Just as he was opening the door the employer's voice rose again,

"One other thing. I'd advise you wash your hands a lot more from now on."



For the making-of docudrama see: Randy goes to Hollywood