Mormons

Mormons are religious ninjas, and zeal is their sword.

“Wait ... an intangible concept can't be a physical weapon!”

- Phil Argus from Bonus Stage

They come to your house on their magic flying bicycles, sort of like Mary Poppins, and use magic religious kung fu, which unfortunately only works for two years. They go back in time and turn indians into aliens into Jews and back into alien indian ninjas again. They invented lots of cool new words and other stuff.

If you see their magic bicycles coming into your town, look out because you could get abducted, de-religious-ified, and re-religious-ified again.