Mr. T's Fanmail

Mr. T's fanmail is the name given to a giant fan that blows diamond-edged mail at computers. AAAAHH!

If you go on the internet and mispell your password for a site which is in a minority on the internet (in other words it isn't a porn site), you will envoke an ancient curse of edible evil. Oh yeah and 'Mr. T's fanmail will be deliverd to your computer room, and placed so that it is facing the computer and has diamond edged letters being fed into it by a small muskovite.

These letters are actually just hybernating 2D diamond-edged square-shaped sasquatches who were turned down the rolls of King Kong, Donkey Kong and Noel Edmonds; (probably should have mentioned that earlier).

As they speed towards your computer due to a gentle prodding and light encouragement from the fan they will attempt to throw faeces at each other, despite having not eaten lunch. Generally some of the faeces will hit your computer giving it the biggest feckin trojan that can like even eat your cat a severe case of boo-boos.

If not treated quickly your computer will cry, drink unsafe amounts of turpentine, run off with it's mother and threaten never to play with struggling actor apes ever again - a rich necessary entertainment source for any waffle iron, I mean computer.

Wow

I'm actually quite proud I didn't manage to include the famous Mr. T phrases "I pity the fool", "Get some nuts", "I ain't get no plane" and "Blobby BLOBBY!!!!" in this article