My Answering Machine

Hi, this is <insert name here>, or not. Who knows? I'm not here right now, but there instead. What "there" happens to be may or may not be important, but either way, this is a pre-recorded message. Leave your name, phone number, and whatever. What other directions could one numbskull need? Anyway, if your sad brain can make words, do so now, because I just set a bomb set in your house. Hey! <insert name here>, you said it was pre-recorded! Shhh! ... It was... heh heh. Look! Elvis Presley! *BOOM!!* Oh, well. At least this is on Illogicopedia... Until the next bomb goes off. Oops. I did it again.