My Shopping List

1. A Twelve Pack of Party Hats (Not having a party but the make me feel special)
2. A Time Machine (Hmmmm... Wonder if WalMart carries these... If not I'll check Costco...)
3. 3 12-packs of Mountain Dew (Uh... My weekly supply...)
4. One of those soft toilet seats (Comfort and crap go hand in hand)
5. A Sports Illustrated (In combo with the soft toilet seat)
6. 14 boxes of Bagelfuls (Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....)
7. A box of Edy's Dibs (Ice cream that doesn't stain the couch What!?)
8. A twelve pack of toilet paper (Never know when you're runnin' low)
9. CSI Season Eight on DVD (Eh.. probably watch all the episodes in two days like always...)
10. A case of Mr. Pibb (Why not?)
11. A box of Cheez-Its (How do they get that much cheesy goodness in there. Yowzas!)
12. 2 Gallon jugs of 2% Milk (Whole will kill you)
13. A pack of 5 Gum (Stimulate your senses)
14. Illogicopedia-ing for Dummies (Needed this for a long, long time...)
15. Steven Colbert's Book I Am America, And So Can You (Gotta catch up on my reading)
16. The World's Natural Wonders 2009 Calender (Who says I can't have a cheesy calender)
17. A Snuggie (I've already got the Sham-Wow. Gotta complete my collection)
18. A jar of Oxy-Clean (To put Billy Mays to the test)
19. Deal or No Deal at home game (Psssst... I'll never say Deal...)
20. How to Songs if you're a Talentless Shmuck Who doesn't have a Musical Bone in his Body by 50 Cent (Self-explanatory)
21. A BETTER SHOPPING LIST