Never Say Never
Hello there! You must be the more uh... "Special" students at this school. My name is Juan de Fuca, and I am your class instructor. Now, this class is about learning things. Not not learning things, but rather learning things you would not have learned if this were a class on not learning things. Anyhow, the procedures in this class require three things. First, two dollars is a lot of money.
You can buy candy. Second, You must need a pencil and two more dollars. And third, not to mention most important, never say never.
Oh, wait...
What the hell? I just said never two times in a single sentence, and I'm not even supposed to say it at all. This is crazy. I never thought the day would-- Oh, shit! This is retarded. This wasn't supposed to happen anymore! God. I should call my doctor again.
Wait! My doctor said that this would never happen again! Holy Shit! I just said "never" again. What fun. It almost seems that every sentence I say has the word "never" in it. God! Why can't I stop the madness! This was never supposed to happen! Aw, shit. I did it again. None of this makes sense. But then again, the world never makes any sen-- FUCK! What the hell?
This is insane
Come on! I just can't stop saying "never". Fuck! I said "never" again. Damnit! Why can't I stop saying "never"? WHY!?!!?!??! Life is so unfair. Oh, God, why can't you make me stop? I'll never sin again! Never! Or I will never say "never" again! I promise! Just stop the madness! OHHHHH!
This sucks. I can never stop saying "never", and now all of my retard students are throwing their pets at me. This has never happened before. OH FUCK! Why? Oh, why!?! I vow never to say "never" any more! Never again! Just stop the madness and never have this happen again! Aww, shit! I can never stop saying it! This is never going to end! Students! Fuck! Never do that again, Thomas.
OK, let's just calm down
OK, Juan, let's just take some deep breaths. Breath in *unhale* Breath out *inhale*. Ok. Now let's try this again. Students! Come and sit down. We have class to work on. Now, what was I saying? Oh yes. The class rules.
OK. Now, let's review. What is the first rule? Bring two dollars. Second? Bring a pencil and two more dollars. Third? Ok, here goes: Do not ever say - notice how I didn't say the word you were supposed to say? - well, um... I'll spell it out. N-E-V-E-R. There Never.
Aww, shit!