Om nom nom that's a NICE sammich you got there!

Excuse me as I ponder the reasons I shall continue to write this dreadful piece of unfunnery.

The beginning

Dave picked up the sandwich and looked at its meat and cheese and deliciousness. He prepared for a bite. Clocks ticked in the background. Sweat gathered on his forehead out of sure apprehension and anxiety.

The event

He moved the sandwich into his mouth and took an enormous bite. "Om nom nom that's a NICE sammich you got there!" he said. He took another bite. Then another. He was devouring the sandwich like a maniac. He couldn't be stopped.

The aftermath

Minutes after eating the sandwich, Dave's chest hurt and he fell to the floor. The sandwich was laced with an untraceable poison. Either that or he ate too much mayonnaise. Yea. It's probably the mayonnaise.