Omnipresence

The timid man, Mickey Tinner to be precise, walked oh-so-slowly in a northern direction.

Poor Timmy.

He could live life normally like every other person, but it was a necessity for him to walk north. I do not know why.

His mother died last week.

Shame, he couldn't turn back south to pick up her remains and eat them.

Instead he ate a rock lying on the side of the road. His weak stomach could hardly handle that cactus juice and cat feet that spewed out of it's numerous, slimy pores.

However, it could handle it, so he kept walking north.

"Where is my salad." he asked one day.

Nobody was there to answer.

"It's over there, slightly north by northeast of here." said Nobody, a dump truck driver.

Timmy walked slightly north by northeast to get his salad back.

Then his body disembodied itself, later turning into a vending machine.

"Aha, what a loser, the salad bowl was really on his back," said Nobody whilst grinning.

The salad bowl fell from the sky and landed on Nobody, turning him too into a vending machine.

They lived not so happily ever after, because Timmy sought revenge on Nobody, but couldn't do anything except empty his stock of Skittles on E4.

In Minnesota, a child stubbornly pricked his finger.

"Ouch, I want my mommy" he said.

"Well too bad, your mommy's getting her hair cut." said Nobody.

He answered from half way across the globe.

Guinness Book of World Records came to record the feat, in this case the most amount of people with blue shoes attached to their noses.

The people from Guinness were very rough.

"But I don't have a blue shoe attached to my nose," said a penguin.

The Guinness people slapped it in the face.

Down the street, the man at the store wondered where his key went.

"I wonder where my keys went," he said.

Then an elephant sat on his store, killed the penguin, turned the guinness people into snakes, and refilled Timmy's stock of skittles.

"Wut" said Nobody.

And, as quickly as it all began, the candle burned out.

fsssssssst