One

From Uncyclopedia test II
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One is one strange number. Strangely numb lumber. Or perhaps lubber. In any case, one is always one you can count on. Unlike that pesky symbol, 1. Who does it think it is!? There can only be one one, for fluff's sake!

One is also the loneliest number. Two can be as bad as one. Three is a crowd. But four is a party! Gaaagh!