Plastic Surgery at the Gas Station

"While I fill your tank, would you like a plastic surgery?" asked the gas station attendant.

"Why yes," said the man.

"Roll down your window please," said the gas station attendant.

"So how about this, I'll use a screwdriver to adjust your nose until it's at a 30-degree angle. Then I'll use my wrench to remove your eyes, and I'll stick one of them inside your left elbow, and the other on the back of your neck. You'll look great for your wedding. Fantastic wedding pictures to show the kids. Should match your fiance's surgery nicely--when she was here I took off her toes and put them on her chin."

"Awesome! Yeah, I like the nose and eye idea, do that! But how did you know I was getting married?"

"Hold still."

The gas station attendant pulled out a toolbox and went to work on the man's face with a screwdriver, a wrench, and some pliers. He whistled a hit country song as he did so, and stopped occasionally to scratch his beard. Then he spoke.

"I think the reason so many people lead lonely, confused, miserable lives is that society slowly demolishes each of our spirits. We think our minds operate independently but our very thought process is the product of the society we live in, right down to the language in which we think. Each of us is just another person, and 800 years from now we'll both be completely forgotten. But nonetheless, we're experiencing the marvelousness and the absurdity of life, and it's a beautiful experience, even if society does crush our souls."

"Why'd you tell me that?" asked the man.

"Because I work at a gas station, and you needed to be refilled. Everyone needs small explosions inside them. Everyone needs something to blow up, it keeps their wheels moving. It's the force of the explosions inside us all that keeps us moving in a vaguely forward direction. Progress."

"Uhhhhhhh...."

The man had suddenly noticed how different everything looked when his eyes were being moved with a wrench.