Poisonous Birds
Throughout the planet are birds. Birds are things that have feathers and fly and run around and eat bread crumbs. Most are often "harmless". But the key word in the previous sentence is "are". Wait, no it isn't! It's "long". Fuck, that isn't even in the sentence! Ok, it's "most". Not all. Most. That means.... some aren't harmless! Now you have to run like hell! And the ones that aren't harmless are... poisonous!
Origins
These poisonous birds were found by a cool person named G Jesus. He is so gansta that he needed something besides a 9mm to kill someone. Then he ate a hot dog. "Brilliant!" he exclaimed as the tumor on his head grew even larger. Then he sat down and farted. The smell was so bad that everyone with an earlobe within two inches of him died, making zero casualties. then a bird became poisonous and he took credit.
Diet
THEY DON'T HAVE NO DIET! They fly and breathe and kill and they don't eat or drink or anything! Only make beer bashes and inhale the smoke, but that isn't eating! However, innocent mushrooms have claimed to have seen them eat, but no one believes them.
Culture
These strange birds of course like to melt pennies and get money. Then they get so rich that twenty people would have to add there gas expenses for six seconds to equal the amount of money these suckers make. They also believe in Judaism. And they don't eat, and they reproduce on Thursdays exclusively.