Pork monger with onions
“This little piggy went all the way to the onion patch!”
Pork monger was once a normal merchant selling pig fur. Pigs have fur? YES! Then one day he saw a boar that was 12 feet tall and 6 feet long. "WOW! I can sell the tusks for $4000, and each square foot of fur for $200 more! How much money will I make?" And as the school children groaned in disgust with the problem, the boar charged him into a cliff, and spattered his gore everywhere. Monger rematerialized from the future, and tackled the boar. It took him exactly 100 days to kill it. Then he turned into a mad scientist and took DNA from him and the boar and combined it, then created a pig man. He called it 'little pork monger' right before it splattered him against his mad scientist cloning machine, causing it to release a constant line of clones of the monger. These mongers all swore to obey the pork monger, and together they took over the world. Where do onions come in? Tune in to the next episode of... PORK MONGER WITH ONIONS!