Prom dress
“Something so useless, I didn't invest in it in the economic stimulus package.”
“Stand up, all victims of oppressionFor the tyrants fear your might
Don't cling so hard to your possessions
For you have nothing, if you have no rights
Let racist ignorance be ended
For respect makes the empires fall
Freedom is merely privilege extended
Unless enjoyed by one and all
Chorus: So come brothers and sisters
For the struggle carries on
The Internationale
Unites the world in song
So comrades come rally
For this is the time and place
The international ideal
Unites the human race
Let no one build walls to divide us
Walls of hatred nor walls of stone
Come greet the dawn and stand beside us
We'll live together or we'll die alone
In our world poisoned by exploitation
Those who have taken, now they must give
And end the vanity of nations
We've but one Earth on which to live
And so begins the final drama
In the streets and in the fields
We stand unbowed before their armor
We defy their guns and shields
When we fight, provoked by their aggression
Let us be inspired by life and love
For though they offer us concessions
Change will not come from above”
“It's like gotta have, like sparkles, and like moar sparkles, and white, and like completely expensive!”
“What? Those globalist commies supported by George Soros and Media Matters and the Tide Foundation are selling crap to our impressionable youth to support procreation among the masses? It must be a sort of ponzi scheme funded by Social Security funds in order to double down on the national debt and sell a bunch of unwanted babies to the Chinese. It's a brilliant idea in theory, but what about the human rights the Founders who died over 200 years ago endowed us with? These babies are American citizens and should not be shipped to do tenuous labor.”
“F--- IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE!”
“Can you take that thing off yet? Prom is an excuse to screw each other, y'know.”
A prom dress, in a capitalistic society, is seriously one of the worst investments someone can make. It is an often rather revealing piece of fabric knitted by Laotian boys who are paid fruit rinds and often die from dehydration. It is typically worn by American young women ages 16-18, but there has been an epidemic of cross-dressing among the vertically-challenged. It is even worse of an investment than timeshares, pinball machine stakes, mass plastic surgery, Michael Jackson records, Soviet flags, or student loans.
The prom dress is considered extremely useless since it is typically only worn for one night, the prom, in which is considered the most romantic evening of a girl's life, though it is uncertain why since it results in binge drinking, mass fornication, and a bunch of unloved infants. The dress usually ends up in the back of some loser guy's car, and really puts the $200 "investment" to waste.