Quack
Chapter 0
Well, actually, zero can't be a chapter number.
It wouldn't exist.
But somehow, it does.
Ha ha.
I saw a dead turtle in the road today.
Ha ha.
Actually, that's not funny.
Cuz it's dead.
Ha ha. Turtles.
Ha ha.
PEACKOCK!
You turned into a peackock and exploded.
So, how are you reading this, you ask?
That's easy; you're not.
Wait.........
You're not a peacock!
You just exploded!
..............
Ha ha.
Exploded. Ha ha.
Turtles. Ha ha.
Ha ha.
Ha ha.
Chapter 1
Guy: Hey Dude!
Dude: What?
Guy: I have a dumb name.
Dude: Yeah.
A moose falls on Dude.
Guy: Wait, what?
A moose fell on Dude.
Guy: But.....but, what's that have to do with anything?
Nothing, but---
Guy: Exactly, so why's it in here?
Would you let me finish? It doesn't have anything to do with anything because this story is supposed to be random!
Guy: Why? Can't you write a regular story?
Moose: Quack.
Yes, but-----
Moose: I said, quack!
Guy: Why did you do that?
Moose: Hello!
Not with Donny Osmond you won't!
Moose: Hey! I said quack!
Guy: What about the peanut butter? Huh? Ever thinka that?
Moose: Quack!!
Yes, but you forget the concept of my theory, which is......
Moose: HEY!!!!
Both: What?
Moose: I said, quack!
Guy: See? Ya gotta quit writing this stupid stuff!
That's it, I'm killing you off!
Guy: But you can't-----
A group of cannibal-headhunters attack Guy, cook him at "Medium-Rare", and cut his head off, holding it trophy in a glass case in some dude's living room.
Chapter 1 1/2
Moose: Since, you'll all listen, I just thought you should all know, quack is an impor-----
Moose gets shot by a hunter, who gets eaten by a bear, who gets eaten by an elephant.
Ha ha.
Elephants.
Ha ha.
Chapter 2
Pig: Oink.
Duck: Moo.
Cow: Wee-snaw.
BOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!
Don't ask.
Why?
Because.
Because.......
Because I said so. (Snaps fingers)
Chapter 2 Part 2
The universe is big.
But you are small.
And insignificant.
Like an ant.
Or a pebble.
Or a dust speck.
Ha ha.
You're a dust speck.
Some dude: So are you!
JERK! (runs away crying.)
NOTE: SINCE THIS STORY'S BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHILE & IT'S ONLY CH. 2, WE'RE GONNA FAST FORWARD TO THE LAST CHAPTER.....OR SECOND TO LAST. WE DON'T KNOW YET. QUACK.
Chapter 1,323,674,279,214,376,432,123.456,789
Editor's Note: We're running out of random things to put in this. So, we drew ideas from a hat. Here they are.
207.74.86.225Love,
The People Who Write Editor's Notes
The dinosaur is eaten by a group of wild bunnies.
Bunny: Why the @$#% did we do that?
Bunny 2: Because the author's idiot friend edited it.
Bunny: OHH!!!
Bunny 2: Why do ya say that?
Bunny rapes Bunny 2 and the dinosaur.
quack
sagdjkterugfdg uifhuierihfiushfui
Quesa pasa, Le Senorita!
President Obama: I like pie.
Press Dude: Why?
President Obama: Why what?
Press Dude: Why do you like pie?
President Obama: Quack.
Deer: Why do I cry?
Doe: I dunno......
Deer: JERK!
Deer stabs Doe with his antlers.
Quack
What?
(Shoves plunger in mouth)
Tastes like person poo!
Quack!
Math Teacher: What's 2+5+98?
Student: Up yours!
Math Teacher: No, the correct answer is.......oh, your cold Stone cold, you bitch! FUCKER! MOTHER FUCKER!
Principal walks in.
Math Teacher: I'm fired, aren't I?
Principal: Yup.
Principal takes out a bazzoka.
Principal: FIIRRREEE!!!
Quack!
What?
Who?
No, him.
Quack!
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
]
Epilogue Thingy
Is anyone reading this?
Probably not.
But if you are.........
Thank you!
But, really, why would you read this?
I don't know why you would.
Do you?
Well, you probably would, cuz your the one reading it!
Sorry for luck.
Ha ha.
Luck.
Ha ha.
Quack.