Quack

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Chapter 0

Well, actually, zero can't be a chapter number.

It wouldn't exist.

But somehow, it does.

Ha ha.

I saw a dead turtle in the road today.

Ha ha.

Actually, that's not funny.

Cuz it's dead.

Ha ha. Turtles.

Ha ha.

PEACKOCK!

You turned into a peackock and exploded.

So, how are you reading this, you ask?

That's easy; you're not.

Wait.........

You're not a peacock!

You just exploded!

..............

Ha ha.

Exploded. Ha ha.

Turtles. Ha ha.

Ha ha.





















Ha ha.

Chapter 1

Guy: Hey Dude!

Dude: What?

Guy: I have a dumb name.

Dude: Yeah.

A moose falls on Dude.

Guy: Wait, what?

A moose fell on Dude.

Guy: But.....but, what's that have to do with anything?

Nothing, but---

Guy: Exactly, so why's it in here?

Would you let me finish? It doesn't have anything to do with anything because this story is supposed to be random!

Guy: Why? Can't you write a regular story?

Moose: Quack.

Yes, but-----

Moose: I said, quack!

Guy: Why did you do that?

Moose: Hello!

Not with Donny Osmond you won't!

Moose: Hey! I said quack!

Guy: What about the peanut butter? Huh? Ever thinka that?

Moose: Quack!!

Yes, but you forget the concept of my theory, which is......

Moose: HEY!!!!

Both: What?

Moose: I said, quack!

Guy: See? Ya gotta quit writing this stupid stuff!

That's it, I'm killing you off!

Guy: But you can't-----

A group of cannibal-headhunters attack Guy, cook him at "Medium-Rare", and cut his head off, holding it trophy in a glass case in some dude's living room.

Chapter 1 1/2

Moose: Since, you'll all listen, I just thought you should all know, quack is an impor-----

Moose gets shot by a hunter, who gets eaten by a bear, who gets eaten by an elephant.

Ha ha.

Elephants.

Ha ha.

Chapter 2

Pig: Oink.

Duck: Moo.

Cow: Wee-snaw.

BOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!

Don't ask.

Why?

Because.

Because.......

Because I said so. (Snaps fingers)

Chapter 2 Part 2

The universe is big.

But you are small.

And insignificant.

Like an ant.

Or a pebble.

Or a dust speck.

Ha ha.

You're a dust speck.

Some dude: So are you!

JERK! (runs away crying.)

NOTE: SINCE THIS STORY'S BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHILE & IT'S ONLY CH. 2, WE'RE GONNA FAST FORWARD TO THE LAST CHAPTER.....OR SECOND TO LAST. WE DON'T KNOW YET. QUACK.

Chapter 1,323,674,279,214,376,432,123.456,789

Editor's Note: We're running out of random things to put in this. So, we drew ideas from a hat. Here they are.

                                   207.74.86.225Love,

                                       The People Who Write Editor's Notes

The dinosaur is eaten by a group of wild bunnies. 

Bunny: Why the @$#% did we do that?

Bunny 2: Because the author's idiot friend edited it.

Bunny: OHH!!!

Bunny 2: Why do ya say that?

Bunny rapes Bunny 2 and the dinosaur.

quack

sagdjkterugfdg uifhuierihfiushfui

Quesa pasa, Le Senorita!

President Obama: I like pie.

Press Dude: Why?

President Obama: Why what?

Press Dude: Why do you like pie?

President Obama: Quack.

Deer: Why do I cry?

Doe: I dunno......

Deer: JERK!

Deer stabs Doe with his antlers.

Quack

What?

(Shoves plunger in mouth)

Tastes like person poo!

Quack!

Math Teacher: What's 2+5+98?

Student: Up yours!

Math Teacher: No, the correct answer is.......oh, your cold Stone cold, you bitch! FUCKER! MOTHER FUCKER!

Principal walks in.

Math Teacher: I'm fired, aren't I?

Principal: Yup.

Principal takes out a bazzoka.

Principal: FIIRRREEE!!!

Quack!

What?

Who?

No, him.

Quack!

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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Epilogue Thingy

Is anyone reading this?

Probably not.

But if you are.........

Thank you!

But, really, why would you read this?

I don't know why you would.

Do you?

Well, you probably would, cuz your the one reading it!

Sorry for luck.

Ha ha.

Luck.

Ha ha.

Quack.

See also