Quotes of Excellence

Note: Please add quotes to this page then remove this note, then be quoted by then note, then hate the note, then shoot the note and spend the rest of your days in prison hating yourself for it.

“Maybe if I apply a little miracle-gro to my penis I won't need to be so angry.”

- Barry Scott on on domestic gardening techniques

“Won't you join my sleighslaying tonight?”

- Santa on asking Rudolph to join him in his annual beer-fueled rampage

“If I was already dead but was then killed again, doesn't that logically mean I'm now alive?”

- Zombie on on undermining the film industry

“ROTFDEAD!”

- Weird Al on after seeing your internet history

“Hang on, this isn't my school bag? Mum! Whose parachute is this?”

- Little Girl on on plane

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!”

- George Bush on not on plane

“Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
Nope. It's dead.”

- Mum's Superman|Superman's Stalker on 's account of Dubya's inevitably hilarious death