Replace the Sponge
Replace the Sponge is the name of a popular game played in suburban neighborhoods. The purpose of the game is to sneak in to suburban households and steal sponges, replacing them with other objects. If the owner of the house doesn't notice the stolen sponge, you win 5 points. If the owner of the house is naked, you win 6 points. If the owner of the house has carrots, you instantly win, but sticks.
"I snuck (that's right, I stick by my frog!) in to a house, I stole a sponge, I replaced it with a hamster. The owner came in to the room, and then stepped in to the refrigerator."
Why do we punch ourselves repeatedly in the stomach?
"I sneaked (because I disapprove of your tape recorder) in to a house, I stole a sponge, and I replaced it with a small motorcycle. He washed the dishes with the motorcycle, and I won several dollars, and it didn't change my life at all."
Carageenan? Was that it?
I replaced a sponge with carageenan.
Actually, I don't have a sponge, because I eat whatever it was I said. Paper and dust and other such witty decorations.
Sponges are dull. Bland. Absorbs your dirt but doesn't add much.
You replace that sponge with a carrot, or an orangutan, or a boulder, and then you've got a decoration.
Tonight, when I should have been (I just heard the garage door open!). Tonight, when I should have been (I broke the rules, I left the shoes, actually I didn't but they smell just like whatever I called the sock dude!). When I should have been (12:58 and still no progress on the saltines), instead I replaced, decorated, and observed a particular sponge.
Let's make everything about that process!
"I saw myself in a famous person's shoulder, and I sure did look weird reflected off the clavicle!"
Everyone looks bizarre given the right decorations...
...is that bell supposed to make us Moo?
Four seasons distorted through lens soaked in carogeenan...
...Nobody, and two seats over, someone who has money.
Anyway, REPLACE THE SPONGE, coming soon to a television set near you!
Unless your television set is replaced by an influential Quaker preistess (if so, let me know).
Replace the Sponge!