Representative Mustard

There is a branch of the United Nations that is highly obscure, even to the most devoted scholars. This branch is known as the Mustard Coalition, and is exactly the same as the other branches of the UN, except each country is represented by a jar of mustard rather than a person.

Every 6.7 years, every country in the ENTIRE WORLD holds an election in which a new mustard jar is elected to represent that particular nation. The results of the popular vote are carefully counted, then discarded so the ruling elite can arbitrarily choose the winner. Once a jar of mustard is elected to represent the country, it is carried to the official United Nations Mustard Building in central Europe, where the hundreds of mustard jars are each placed at desks, where they all sit. "They'll start debating any minute now!" the news people usually say, before stealing a few of the jars to make sandwiches.

Not to be confused with the House of Dead Emus, a little-known additional branch of the US government in which a dead emu represents each state. The dead emus rot in a highly significant political way.