Rip Poker

Rip Poker is an alternative form of poker that is very popular in Las Vegas and in most high-security prisons. It is similar to strip poker, except instead of taking off a piece of your clothing when you lose, you rip off a part of your body instead.

"It adds a much-needed element of suspense to the game. Not to mention some hilarious violence," says J.J. Jaundice, the inventor of the game. "Imagine the intensity of playing poker when you know you'll have to rip your nose off if you lose."

Inspired by Rip Poker, various Las Vegas strip clubs have turned themselves to "rip clubs," in which strippers first remove their clothes, and then start pulling their legs and arms off. "It's very arousing to watch," says one audience member, who has a mustache, "And one time, I actually caught one of the strippers' arms. She yanked it off and tossed it right at me. Oh, my god, it was wonderful."

Do you want to get in on the fun of human dismemberment? Well, thanks to ILLOGICOPEDIA RIP POKER, you can! All you have to do is click "random page," then, if you land on a page starting with a vowel, you remove a body part of your choice. If you land on this page, remove your entire body except one toe of your choosing.