Sean Hannity
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Sean Hannity is Bill O'Reilly's best buddy. He is a fat, tubbish freak who doesn't know light from uhh. He owns 56 uggs and 2 pizzas and is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally fat. I can't begin to tell you how fat Sean Hannity is. Ya know, he ate 45 pizzas, man. He is loaded with the pounds (or kilowatts for those who go by the metric system). And he loves little kiddies and Sean Hannity. Stephen Colbert often refers to him as the "4th Estate" of the American Dream. Seriously. Hannity was born with Colmes in a manger. They hosted a show, Colmes and Hannity for some years. Colmes leaves since Hannity was so fat. Hannity hosts new show Hammity, involving ham, spam and TAX EXEMPTION.
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Sean Hannity is most comfortable when surrounded by like-minded patriots.