Song of Yawn

We wish you yawnn... a merry, um, christmas.
And a happy new year.
Good tidings we yaawwnnnnnn bring sigh to you and your... thing. Y'know, ruler-type person.
I need a coffee or something.
Or lots and lots of rum.
Hey, is that Santa?
Oh, don't worry, it's just the carrot I left on the plate for him.
yyaawwnn
Do you really think he will come?
Even if I am sitting here with a shotgun?
Oh, okay then.
Now bring us some... thingy pudding
yaaaawn
Now do that with thingy pudding
Now repetition is boring
And a happy new YAWWWN...
[insert phart here]

promptly falls asleep, and Santa has his way with him