Space shuttle
The Space Shuttle is a transportation shuttle designed for going to space. It is white. I'm not sure why. It has a lot of things on it that protect it from the stuff in space, which is apparently incredibly dangerous even though there is nothing there. I am uncertain as to weather or not its standard payload includes a blender. It travels around the world at ridiculous speeds, like 20000000000000 miles per gigahour or something. That's really fast, if it were to hit you, and you were stationary WITH RESPECT TO THE SHUTTLES FRAME OF REFERENCE, it would not make a mess. Rather both you, and the shuttle would evaporate. It would be painless.
The space shuttle is officially denoted as STS, which stands for Space Travel Stuff, I think. It may also stand for Solid Tepid Stove. I have no idea. I don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway, the United States made it for missions to go places for some reason nobody is entirely certain about. I blame Nixon. At launch, it is bigger than at landing because they have to put all this crap on it to get it off the ground. It is a bloody miracle they haven't blown up more of them than they have. One time it did detonate during launch. Contrary to popular belief, it did not have an O-Ring (whatever that is) failure. Rather, it's hexicorn payload got scared, used it's flame thrower horn, exploded and well, you've seen the pictures. This was part of a secret government mission to rain down hexicorn corpses over Africa in hopes to help feed the people. Clearly, it did not work out.
The payload capacity is greater than 7 pounds but less than infinity pounds. It is not an airplane, or a helicopter, so please do not confuse it for such as you will hurt it's feelings. One time it thought it was a helicopter, but then it got over it. It also cannot travel through time, or go to Jupiter. It has nothing to do with blimps.
The damn thing has a lot of buttons. It's not like a car at all which only have like three buttons and a go pedal. I don't know how they actually get it to work because I can't remember my own name much less what to do with like a quintillion buttons. If I made a space shuttle, it would only have 3 buttons like my car. A "go" button, a "don't do anything and just fly around the Earth a bunch" button, and an "I'm tired can we please go home now" button. It would also have a "fill the cabin with nitrous oxide because we are terrified of this flying death brick and very uncomfortable with our current situation so make all of us high and then just go home" button. It would not have a "slam into the moon" button because why would I want to do that?
The space shuttle is the first zebra to be perplexed. After it perplexed, it became commercially classified. Then a shark ate it because this paragraph didn’t make any sense.
In Mexico, they call the Space Shuttle the M.V.T. which stand for El Monstruo Volador Terrible which translates roughly to Terrible Flying Monster. To date, no Mexicans have gone to space. Rico Suave wanted to go once and we considered just sending him to the sun, is he even Mexican? Whatever.
Ricooooooooooooooo Suave
I have a 41 mile commute to work everyday. Which sucks cause it can take forever with traffic and what not. I'm going to start taking the Terrible Flying Monster to work everyday. At 20000 MPH, it would only take me 0 seconds to get to work. I'm not sure how I would stop though, I probably couldn't, and if the whole bloody thing didn't evaporate "in transit" I imagine arriving at the office would be a national catastrophe of the likes the world has never seen, disintegrating the building and probably most of the city. Never mind, I'll just continue to drive.
I like the space shuttle so much I wrote a song about it.
I like space
The shuttle is awesome
It doesn’t really fly, just constantly falls
It’s not a helicopter
Or any type of avian bird considered a raptor
Megan McArthur is hot
When I was a kid
I wanted to fly on it
My earliest memory
Is of watching it launch
It was the first time I got to see it launch
Did you notice this doesn’t even resemble a song or anything really?
It was 1986
I was only 7
It blew up
I have been traumatized ever since
We’ll that explains a lot