Spinal Cord
My Spinal Cord, otherwise known as my backbone (the object that makes me a mammal as opposed to a mollusk and/or insect) is. No Longer. In my Body.
Here's How it Happened
I had eaten a very large volume of sodas. that's right, I ate them, glass bottle and all. There were no recycling bins at the place I was eating, (zany, zany, wacky, goofy, etc. etc.) and so I had some soda. The soda in my stomach caused me to burp so violently that my spinal cord was propelled from my body via my oral cavity.
It was very pleasant.
Is that your spinal cord?
Said the pleasant chap I was dining with. "Yes," I said casually.
"Interesting," he said. "So, did you watch the baseball game last night?"
The conversation continued in this manner. Then, a passing man saw my spinal cord, gasped, and scooped it up. He put it in his pocket.
It was a very large. Pocket.
There were probably other things in it.
I put a bunch of saltshakers in my back as a temporary spine so I could stand. It made me taste better but I missed the pleasant clacking of my old.
So here I am
Now I have no spinal cord. It's in the hands of a stranger. he could throw it out. It's of no use to him.
I hope he'll be kind to a stranger and treat it with care. I hope he doesn't notice how many times I've--
I took a bath and the drain almost got me. That old guy who took his clothes off in my presence was a filthy liar, and I plan to write a very angry letter which I will never send, though it will make for A GOOD THING TO DO DRAWINGS OF BEFORE IT DECAYS WITH THE PASSAGE OF TIME LIKE LINT IN WASHER/DRYER WHICH YOU CAN GET AT YOUR LOCAL FURNITURE STORE FOR ONLY $___
I have no back to turn on others so I'll point my elbow at them.
That's the most poorly drawn moose I've ever seen.
From one speck to another: please take good care of my spine.
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