Spinge
His name was Spinge, and he loved guns. He carried at least nine guns at all times. He could shoot the bullseye of a target from up to 9 miles away. He also loved hunting. He could kill a gorgeous endangered tiger from up to 500 yards away, with one shot to the heart. The walls of his house were draped with the skins of the animals he shot. He was confident that he could shoot down anything. One day, he got drunk, and decided to shoot the sky. He fired a bullet up in the air towards the sky. He waited five minutes.
The sky has no bullseye. And no heart. It's all one color. I've written an article about the sky already, but that's just the way things worked out.
The state of Iowa is mostly flat.
The bullet rocketed upwards.
After a full ten minutes, the bullet fell back down and landed in the middle of Spinge's head. Sometimes you achieve your dreams. And sometimes the laws of physics achieve theirs.