Sun
“Freddie Starr ate my hamster! I told him to take my dog instead, but he said he preferred the taste of gristle.”
“Page 3 really blinds me by the lights!”
The Sun, not to be confused with The Moon!, is a rather large gasbag created by the Government to try and cut energy bills. It has backfired, however, as greenhouses have stolen all the gases and are holding piles of gold bullion to ransom.
Temperature
The hottest part of the Sun is not page three, rather the centre page after the paperboy has placed his used chewing gum in it. Beware. The coldest part of the sun is the dark side of the moon.
See also
As I understand it ... if you've seen the sun then you must now be blinded ... so it's kind of pointless for us to list things you could see also at this point. Tough break, kid.