TJ
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TJ was not an especially attractive man, neither was he good at anything.
What I'm trying to say is that TJ is not good at anything at all and that includes basketball, chess, life and life in the astro tube. But one day Puff the Magic Dragon came up to him and said "Hey TJ if you came and slayed me you would be the bee's knees." So later that day TJ came out of his cave in which he lived for about 20 years and cut off the dragons head. This made things even worse though, as cutting off the head made the world turn into a passport application and cutting off the tail made Peter Jackson's ass implode.
I guess what I'm trying to say is... er.... don't shit your blubber mouth young man! PARLIAMENTARIANS RULE OK!