Talking to trees

Do it. Or we will find you.

Pine Tree: Hello? Anyobody heeerrreee?

Don't be shy you sad faggot. TALK TO THE TREE.

Pine Tree: Come out, come out, wherever you are! Tee hee hee!

You: Eh, I don't feel comfrotable talking to something that cannot support the proper organs required to think, much less speak.

DON'T BE A NERD. OR WE WILL KILL YOU.

You: As if. You don't even know my name!

But the tree does.

You: Huh?

Oak Tree: Hey, <insert name here>

You: Hey, how did you know that!?

Pine Tree: We all know. We know everything about you.

Willow Tree: Yes, we do.

Cherry Tree: Just like Bcbkye.

You: Oh my god, how many of you guys are there?

Maple Tree: As many species of trees there are.

You: And you stalk me?

Pine Tree: Yes, because I love to watch naked men! Tee hee hee!

You: What the fuck?

Oak Tree: Don't mind him, he is gay.

Maple Tree: He is queer. Different. I will contact the lumberjacks.

*dials phone*

Hello? Come chop this Pine Tree down. Thank you.

You: Thank god.

Oak Tree: Trot along now, cause if you don't we will KILL you. With PALE things that are GREEN.

You: PALE GREEN things? Oh shit! Eh... I think my meatloaf is burning!

*runs away*

Oak Tree: *Takes off suit*

Wow, I can't believe he fell for that one.

Willow Tree: Yep. Stupid <insert name here>! I can't believe he fell for that. I can't wait until school tomorrow and he tells us about the TALKING TREES!

Maple Tree: What a stupid fag. He probably spends all of his time on some stupid website and watches the Playboy channel!