Tarquin
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Tarquin? Who's that? Should I know who this person is? If I should, I certainly don't. This is a problem that has to be solved. It can be solved by you telling me who Tarquin is.
I know he isn't the ice cream man who comes down my street. His name Clyde. Though, I can see how someone can mix "Tarquin" and "Clyde" up very easily. The two names are essentially the same.
Why won't you tell me who this person is? There must be some reason. Does he, according to the government (the tricky bastards), not exist? Well, that would certainly explain a lot.
This Tarquin guy is a real mystery. He most have done some weird stuff in his lifetime to be so unknown.
Hey buddy, I'll tell you who Tarquin is for no more than twenty bucks!
Who?