Test

1. Given that the sky is blue, derive Avogadro's Number. Show all work.

$Sky+blue=number$

A:42.

2. Do batteries have souls? If so, where do they go?

A: Yes, batteries do have souls. I know because I saw one once. It was floating around. These souls go to the local pawnshop to pick up cheap watches so they can power them. Most souls are Duracells, not Energizer.

3. A man desperately tries to fail, and succeeds. Explain what went wrong, or right, if anything. And explain why.

A: His failure results in success, therefore I went right and he went wrong. God knows what direction that is.

4. Recreate the ship's manifest of Noah's Ark.

BONUS: What precautions were undertaken to avoid sinking, given that at least 2 woodpeckers were on the voyage.

A: Manifest:

Bird

Fish

Oatmeal

Bright Orange Frog

Elefant

Fnurdle

There were no wood peckers. I know cause I WAS THERE

5. Illustrate the technique to determine whether a person is left-eyed or right-eyed.

A:Center

6. Photograph several different varieties of cheese. What do they say?

A:

Cheese 66 bg 080906.jpg

I only found one; it's ok, it's alive!

7. Using only common household items, measure the speed of dark. Detail the process.

A:The answer I logically deducted was twenty four miles per minute. This translates to 132 miles perhour. I raced a fast thing against dark. It won, so I just came up with a speed less than that fast thing. It was moving at mach three or somethin, I couldn't tell though, my hotwheels speed gun wasn't working.

8. Can a bag of raisins be re-hydrated back into grapes? How? Could these grapes be used to make wine? Who would drink it? Why?

A:Actually I am a raisin. I would prefer if you didn't ask me about my personal life.

9. Why are doors rectangular and manhole covers round?

A:?

10.If it's okay to ask people how they feel, why isn't it okay to feel them for the sake of verification?

A:?