That thing....over there.....keeps.....staring..at...me!

"Hey." I said. "Me?" the man said. "Yeah you." I said. "Do you see...that thing? "You mean that thing?" the man said. "Yeah, over there." I said. "It's a tennis ball." the man said. "Yeah......but it keeps staring at me." I said. "Tennis balls don't have eyes." the man exclaimed. "Yes they do!" I said, as I spun around in a circle. The man looked like he had just been urinated on by an albino dinosaur, so I tried to comfort him by flicking his ear. "Hey! Stop that." the man said. But I continued to flick him, with a pair of celery sticks shoved up my nose.

"Do you see....that thing?" I asked him. "Yes I see the stupid tennis ball!" the man shouted. I took off my glasses and stared into his eyes. "IT KEEPS STARING AT ME!!!" I yelled. "TENNIS BALLS DON"T HAVE EYES!!" the man angrily yelled. "Sshhh!" I said. "It might hear you and be insulted!" I warned. The man threw a chew toy at me and said "Tennis balls don't have ears!" "Nor eyes!". Pfffft. "Did you just fart?" the man asked me. "Yeah. Do you think that thing smells it?". "TENNIS BALLS DO NOT HAVE NOSES!" "Nor eyes, nor ears." the man said.

I was begining to get fed up with this man so I went over to that thing and I eated it. The man threw a shoe at me and walked away while muttering, "What a retard.". I crouched down on the sidewalk and put the shoe on my head and rocked back and forth. Soon, a purple man came up to me and he put a stamp on my forehead. The purple man took out a tag and clamped it to my ear. He got out some black and white paint and painted me white with black blobs. Then he fed me several hundred punds of cheese, stapled a plastic udder to my underside, sprinkled manure on me and shipped me off to a petting zoo. I am now known as Bettsie, the misshapen cow.