The Adventures of the Amazing Bobus!
In the town of Superheropolis the people rely on one person to help them in need... the sheriff. Wait? This is about the amazing Bobus? Well, ok.... Anyway there's this real life superhero named Bobus and here's his adventures... enjoy.
Chapter 1
Superheropolis, 7:30 AM.
Cat: "Help that women is stuck in the tree!"
Bobus: "Don't worry I can help!"
Bobus takes tree out of the ground and swings it and shakes it. Women falls out. Dies.
Cat: "I hate you!"
Bobus: "Cries."
Back at the superhero cave.
Bobus: "I'm a terrible superhero."
Superman: "Hmmm, true, true."
Spiderman: "I agree."
Bobus: "Shut up your supposed to make me feel better."
Batman: "Why, your the suckiest superhero in the world. You've killed 13 people in the last 2 weeks."
Bobus: "Those 2 in L.A. were not my fault ok, I was high and drunk and I thought they were gorillas."
Spiderman: "It's always something, Bobus. Always something..."
Chapter 2
Superheropolis, 8:30 AM
A mugger steals a lady's purse. Bobus pursues.
Mugger: "You'll never catch me hahahhahahhahahhahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahhahhahhaaaa!"
Bobus: "Oooo, icecream stand, yummy!"
Criminal gets away and Bobus gets one of those chocolate and vanilla soft serve ice cream cones... It was good.
Three kids are beating up a little kid.
Bobus: "Hey no need to beat him up can we resolve this conflict without anger."
Mean kid: "Shut up old hag!"
Bobus: "Oh hell no! You know what <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
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span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>fock what I said earlier, you're going down bi<css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>tch!
All three of the kids die.
The kid who was getting beat up was so traumatized by the way Bobus killed the 3 kids he later that day killed himself.
You really don't want to know how he beat them up... seriously...
Back at the superhero cave.
Bobus: "You guys were right I am the suckiest superhero ever!"
Batman: "See, don't you feel good when you tell the truth?"
Bobus: "Don't make fun... I didn't mean to kill those kids.
Spiderman: "I know it sounds weird but I'm curious. How did you beat up the kids?"
Bobus: "Well first I <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>ripped their stomachs out then I, <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>strangled them with their stomachs, and finally I <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>took their other intestines and shoved them up their asses."
Complete silence...
Chapter 3
Dominoes Pizza
Man: "I asked for peperoni and you gave me cheese."
Worker: "Oh, I'm sorry we'll remake it in a sec."
Bobus overhears conversation.
Bobus: "No criminal shall get away with an act such as forgetting to put the pepperoni and someones pizza!"
Blood... The End...
Back at the superhero cave.
Bobus: "I really do suck don't I?"
Superman: "Yep."
Bobus: "I try to help people but it never works out. It always ends up with people dieing."
Bobus: "I think I'm going to quit superherohood."
Batman: "Oh thank god, I mean that's terrible!
Bobus: "Well, nice knowing you guys."
Spiderman: "Not the same to you."
Bobus: "Bye."
Chapter 4
Bobus lived the next 2 months of his life like a normal man. He was wanted for 257 murders but he didn't get arrested cause he was "in disguise." But he didn't know his life was going to be changed forevur!
Bank.
Bobus: "I want a double cheese burger and hold the lettuce. Don't be frontin' son no seeds on the bun, we be up in this drive thru orda fo two I gots a cravin for a numba nine like---"
Teller: "Bobus, the idiot superhero, is that you?"
To be continued dun dun duuuun!
After these few commercial interruptions:
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Thank you.
Bobus: "Who? Ummm... Er... Dur... Wer... Stir... Her..."
Teller: "It is you! Police there's a psychopath on the lose!"
Bobus: "What the hell?"
Bobus looks around. He shoots the teller straight in the spectacles. He takes flight. And he hits the ceiling and falls down.
Bobus: "Muther <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>fricker! I gots a bubu.
The police arrest Bobus...
THEEND
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead! Head on: apply directly to the forehead! Head on: apply directly to the forehead! Head on: apply directly to the forehead! Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead! Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!
Head on: apply directly to the forehead!