The Artist Formerly Known As Jesus
This article is better pronounced ⊕.
⊕ was a formerly successful and highly sought-after astronaut before growing a beard at the back of his neck. He then decided, after being reccommended by Kanye West, to pursue a musical career.
A Kanye West, speaking on behalf of a man
“Jesus doesn't care about purple rain!”
A title, to make the article seem slightly bigger
Thus ensued a major collapse in the music industry after people realised that this so-called "⊕" was actually just another Aphex Twin pseudonym, and that ⊕ turned out to be Cornish for "To partake in anti-social activities with sheep".
To counteract these claims, ⊕ performed in secret venues for many hungry fans, collaborating with many famous people such as Jesus Hendrix and Germaine Greer. Unfortunately, as it turned out, these venues happened to be in nationwide Stringfellows, and ⊕ happened to be wearing a mildly revealing dress. The workers and customers at Stringfellows were very pleased to note that they were charged and extra £50 on the entrance fee due to the fact that ⊕ had joined some weird kind of Cult that did not allow for him to put money in a Sari, as this was blasphemy unto their cheque balances.
⊕'s releases
Major singles released
- When Doves Lol
- Let's Pretend We're Talented
- Purple Rain (Your Sins Made God Do It)
- Gett Off Me Mary
- Kiss (Of Judas)
- Cream (Of Judas)
- ⊕'s Second Coming (Cream of Judas pt. 2)
Albums
- The Chocolate Invasion (ft. Kanye West)
- The Black Album (ft. Kanye West)
- Purple Rain (Your Sins Made God Do It)
- Something else
- I Love Tom Cruise
- The Best Of: Someone Who Probably Isn't Me
All of these releases are now being sold on the TV show The Simple Life after Nicole Richie mistook ⊕ for her dad, Lionel Richie.