The Entire Population of Europe in a Bathtub Day

The Entire Population of Europe in a Bathtub Day is a holiday that has been tragically forgotten by today's generations. It honors an incident that occurred during World War II, when the entire population of Europe spontaneously agreed to take a bath together. They all walked to Finland, where they knocked on the door of an old woman named Treenson Guurlwe. She answered the door, and one by one, the entire population of Europe walked in to her home, through her sitting room, up her stairs, and in to her bathroom. There, the entire European population got naked and squeezed in to a single, small bathtub, where they took a brief bath. Then, they got out of the bath, got dry, put their clothes back on, and left the house. The next day, they all returned to the battlefields and resumed blowing each other to smithereens.

"They used an awful lot of water," says Treenson, who we brought back from the dead to interview for this article, "And they left quite a bit of their hair in the drain. Needless to say, it was strange to hear a knock on the door, ask 'who's there?' and hear 'it's the entire population of Europe! We need a bath!' in return. Thankfully, I had several million bars of soap stockpiled in my basement, so there was enough to wash all their bodies."

To commemorate the event, Europeans used to return to the house and bathe together yet again, until one year when they all spontaneously forgot to do it.