The Highway Code
Introduction
The Highway Code is a very very very strict set of rules governing the use of all p00blic roads, pathways, nature-trails, bridges, fields, ditches, open expanses of grass, skies, corridors, ladders (including rope), mazes, seas, rivers and streams. All 700,000,000 rules must be committed to memory, as police will often surprise innocent drunk-drivers by telling them to recite the Highway Code or risk being pwnt. In this article we will learn some of the main rules, and why it is important that they are followed at ALL times.
Rule 1: No accidents. Ever.
This is the most important rule in the Highway Code. Accidents are horrifically common amongst drivers, and despite police efforts to get all potential causers of accidents off the roads and into prison, they persist in happening.
A Police spokesperson said: "Currently we are tracking over 12 million drivers who are believed to be capable of causing an accident. It will take time, but we will get them."
The penalty for being deemed potentially capable of causing or being involved in an accident is death, under the anti-terrorism act of 1943.
Rule 2: No speeding. Unless you are being chased by zombie goblins.
Speed limits are there for a reason people. To be broken. Like all rules. EXCEPT RULE 1!! NO ACCIDENTS!! WE WILL GET YOU, YOU BASTARD (potential) ACCIDENT CAUSERS!!
Also, be aware of Zombie Goblins.
Rule 3: No 'being in a state of mind of that of a dick'
Nobody likes a dick, so don't act like one. Drive nice and careful like, and try to keep threatening hand gestures and physical beat-downs of smaller road users to a minimum. This is just a guideline, and there are no actual laws regarding the beating and killing of other road users, as long as it wasn't an accident.
Rule 4: Watch out for pedestrians at all times
Be careful whilst on the road, as wild pedestrians are a constant threat to driver's safety. Hand your dead pedestrians in at a local police station to collect your reward money.
Rule 5: Public transport is for pussies
Real men drive hummers, smoke iron filings and eat brick.
Rule 6: Driving at night IS REALLY DANGEROUS z0mg :O
It's harder to see and that. I guess you could use headlights or something...but again, only a guideline. Try to avoid crashing, and if you do, make sure it was deliberate.
Rule 7: No haXoring the DVLA database to alter these rules.
HaXoring the DVLA database to alter these rules R illegal. LOL ur mum Dave is t3h Ubar ghey lololoiluldesudesu
ruile 9; Dave is gay lololol
klololol dave is gayer than my mum lololololol roflcpopter