The Matrix Path of the Two
“I have ugly teeth!”
In another universe of which we know little, Morpheus did not find Neo, the One, as the Oracle had predicted.
Instead, he found the Other One, the guy in the next room over in the Matrix and the next pod over in real life. He wasn't a hacker, he was a garbage man, and his friends called him, "Uno."
Uno took the Red Pill only because Morpheus got the colors mixed up.
So they brought him aboard the Neb, and told him that he was the One. The One that they had been searching the Matrix for, the One that would save them all.
He said, "Morpheus, the Oracle told you that your path would be to find and guide the One?"
Morpheus said, "Yes, Uno."
Uno said, "OK, well then I'd better get busy finding the Two."
Morpheus responded, "Uh, what?"
Uno explained, "Well if I'm the One, and you found me, then it only seems logical that my path must be to find the Two who must then search the Matrix for the Three and so on."
Morpheus said, "Um, no. You're the One. That's it. Over with. Your coming is supposed to hail the destruction of the Matrix."
Uno said, "Yeah, as soon as I find the Two."
Morpheus said, "But Uno, there isn't a Two! There's just a One!"
Uno said, "Hey, Morpheus, do you think that you might be the Zero?"
Trinity said, "Would that make me the Three?"
Morpheus groaned, and said, "Look, I'd better just take you to see the Oracle. She'll straighten all this out."
Uno said, "OK, but right after that I shall begin my quest to comb the entire Matrix searching for the Two."
Morpheus said, "OK, just jack in already."
They jacked in, and made their way to the Oracle's apartment.
Morpheus said, "Uno, let me go in first, OK?"
Uno said, "Sure, OK."
Morpheus went in and talked to Spoonkid.
Morpheus said, "Hey, Spoonkid! The One is obsessed with this idea that he's got to find something called "the Two." Do you think you could help straighten him out?"
Spoonkid said, "Well, I'm a lot better at bending stuff, or rather bending myself, but OK."
Morpheus said, relieved, "Good. Thanks!"
Uno entered and sat down next to Spoonkid.
Spoonkid said, "Do not try and find the Two. That's impossible. Only try to realize the Truth."
Uno asked, "And that is?"
Spoonkid said, "There is no Two. Then you will realize that it is not the Two that is being sought, it is only yourself."
Uno said, "OK," and tried to concentrate really really hard.
"There is no Two, there is no Two..." he said over and over like Dorothy at the end of the Wizard of Oz. "There is no Two, there is no Two ..."
"Does that mean that the Two is bending around somewhere in the Matrix?"
Spoonkid shouted, "No!"
But meanwhile, in another part of town, unknown to our characters, a girl was at a school dance, dancing around to the Beatles song, "Twist and Shout."
She had a big number 2 on her shirt.
Morpheus rubbed his bald head and went in to see the Oracle.
He said, "Oracle, Uno is obsessed with this idea that he's got to find the Two, while you and I both know that the Prophecy says that there is no Two. Only Uno has the power of the One."
The Oracle said, "Well, maybe from his point of view there is a Two."
Morpheus gave up.
"I hate philosophy," he said, and shot himself.
THE END!