The Smiley Face Conspiracy

Mikael Jacobs was sitting at his table when he heard, "Pizza delivery!" "What the?... Coming!" He opened the door and sure enough, a man with a box of pizza stood there, "$10.95, sir." "Is this... Explosive Pizza?" "No sir, $10.95." He went back inside and got ten dollars and ninety-five cents. "There you go." "Thanks, enjoy your pizza :)". "Wait," Mikael wondered, "How could he say a smiley face?" Then he remembered it exactly. He actually said, "Thanks, enjoy your pizza, smiley face." Mikael was shocked. "You son of a bitch," he muttered.

Mikael sat down at his table and a banana lay there with a note.

Dear Mikael,

Don't forget your potassium intake! :-)

Love,

Mom

"Aw... thanks Mom! Always looking out for me. He wolfed down the banana, "Wow! That was good! :-).. Woah.. now I said 'Smiley Face'. IT'S AN EPIDEMIC!!! :-(. Oh sh*t.... NOOOOOOO!!!!" His neighbor ran in his front door, "What's all the commotion :-|?" "You-you-just said 'straight face'." "No I didn't. I said :-|." "Exactly," said Mikael... "You-you're scaring me Mikael. All I said was ':-|'" "No you said the words 'Straight face'." "I-I-I'll leave..." His neighbor went outside out of Mikael's view and he took a Walkie-Talkie out of his pocket and said into it, "Guys, he knows. We need to take care of this." The responding voice said, "Okay. I'll send more operatives. I can't believe the pizza delivery didn't work."

An hour later, a black van arrived at Mikael's house. Eight men in SWAT uniforms swarmed Mikael's house. A crisis negotiator said to Mikael in a megaphone, "Mikael, we want this to end well :-D. We don't want anymore people to get hurt :'-(. Please, Mikael." Mikael stepped out of his house, "What did I do-". The SWAT members tackled him and shoved him in the van. The crisis negotiator talked into an earpiece and said, "We've got the goods. Where do we bring 'im?" The voice responded, "To the HQ..."

The SWAT team put a bag over Mikael's head and shoved him in the van. They drove for about an hour and unloaded him into a building. He was chained to a chair. The bag was removed and there sat a big, bald, black man. Like the typical bodyguard but in a nice suit. "So," he started, "What do you know?" "N-nothing... Honest.." "I said," he raised his fist, "WHAT DO YOU KNOW!?!" He punched him across the face. "So Mikael, what are you hiding? Do you know?" "Know what?" "The Greatest Conspiracy Ever?" "You- you mean the smiley face thing?" "Oh... so you do know..." "What's the big deal? Honest." The Boss, as it seemed, cracked his knuckles and smiled to reveal his gold tooth. "Haha," Boss chuckled. "Welcome to a group we call the Smiley Face Legacy". "Wha-what do I do?" "We are the ones that developed smiley face into everyday speech. It started as only in writing, but we implanted things into people's brains that made them register 'Happy smiley' into ':-)'. Mainly when people's implants go bad, we see if they're ready, and they join the legacy." "So, when do I start?"

NOW

To be continued...