The Word "Seldom" is seldom used in America

and I don't know why. I mean, it's a good word to use because instead of saying, "That never happens" you can say, "That seldom happens" which makes you sound more intelligent and everyone knows intelligence gets the ladies (debatable).

Also the word "lest" isn't used in America either. It's kinda hard to define it but you know what it means, right? Yeah... Instead we say stuff like, "Then we" but that's TWO words. Simplify it.

AND, why don't we use the word "whilst"? It's just so much cooler sounding than "while". While sounds like first-grade speech. Whilst just sounds so much more stupid.

Another thing, why do we spell "gray" with an 'a'? It looks SO MUCH COOLER with an 'e'. Gray vs. Grey. What looks cooler? Whatever special ed. kid is raising his hand for Gray doesn't know what he's talking about.

In short; WHY DO AMERICANS TALK LIKE INBRED REDNECKS?