Top Ten Things I would do for a Klondike Bar

From Illogicopedia's Top Ten collection. Where opinion is fact.

10. Burn my house down

9. Eat a wine glass

8. Sit through 3 seasons of "Sex and the City"

7. Burn my neighborhood down

6. Watch an hour of gay porn

5. Sell all of my possessions

4. Stab myself

3. Shoot myself in the thigh

2. Kill you and your immediate family

1. Kill my extended family

If you're thinking, "This guy is insane!" then clearly, you have never had a Klondike Bar.