Trampoline Autopsies

Trampoline Autopsies are an alternative form of autopsies where the...morgue guy (I forget what they're called) and the body he is cutting open are both bouncing on trampolines. The first trampoline autopsy was performed in 2008 by Doctor Brent Letherd. "Cutting open dead bodies isn't a very appealling career," says Letherd, "I was trying to think of something to give the job more appeal. We're desperate for more employees at morgues, especially during these tough economic times."

Letherd got a brilliant idea: "Instead of performing autopsies on stationary tables and stable floors, I decided to perform an autopsy while bouncing with the body on a huge trampoline!!! It was so much fun. Parts were flying everywhere. It was like a kid's amusement park, except messier and a bit creepier." Soon, the fad had spread across the nation. Now, all morgues have had their floors replaced with extra-bouncy trampolines, to add an element of fun to the dissection of bodies. Consequently, job applications in the field have skyrocketed to an unprecedented level.

"Before, my morgue barely had any employees," says Letherd, "But now, we have more employees than we know what to do with! We might need to start systematically murdering people just so the morticians will have something to do! And it's all thanks to trampoline autopsies. What a freakin' brilliant idea. Best idea I ever had. Except, of course, for brain juggling."