Triple Tongue Rotation

Kevin woke up in an exhausted haze, facedown in a small puddle of his own drool. He wiped his chin as he sat up, then suddenly leapt in shock. An old woman was standing beside his bed, blinking nonchalantly at him from behind thick glasses. She was absolutely naked.

Kevin wanted to ask her what she was doing in his bedroom and why she was naked, but he had not yet had his regular 18 cups of coffee and 5 syringes of cocaine, so he was too groggy to speak. Instead he moaned.

"I am in your room because every night, while you have slept, I have climbed up the side of the building. I have crept in through your window. I have stood without my clothes and watched you while you slept."

She reached under his mattress and pulled out an orange crayon. "Years ago, I placed this crayon under your mattress," she said, "I knew you'd never bother to change the sheets; you're always too dizzy." She circled the drool puddle on his bed with the orange crayon.

"Now it's time for you to hear what I have to say." she said. He blinked in response.

She said, "You may not realize this, but you have three tongues. The first tongue is dead and lifeless--rotting inside your mouth. The second tongue is alive and normal; neutral and inactive. The third is a baseball player, constantly leaping and jumping in your mouth. Now, which of those tongues do you speak with, you might ask? You might wonder? They constantly rotate in a circle. Sometimes it's the dead tongue, sometimes it's the neutral tongue, sometimes it's the bouncy tongue. They change at random. Uncontrollably. They spin constantly, like propellors to lift you skywards...or like spinning blades that turn your mouth and your head in to a blender, knocking your teeth out and sending them spinning around, and chopping your brain in to extremely small peices."

"Why did you tell me this? Why did you wait so long? Why are you naked?"

"I told you this because I wanted to confuse you. It would remind you that you were alive."

She walked over to his window, tore the curtain off, and wrapped it around her torso. She climbed out, leaving Kevin to dolefully stare at the circle she had drawn around his puddle.