Wait...Whose Brain is This?
I woke up this morning and what should I find, under my pillow? A brain. And I'm not just talking about some insignificant cow brain or moose brain. There was a HUMAN brain underneath my pillow.
I wasn't really sure what to do. First I checked my own head. I thought maybe my brain had rolled out during the night. But no, the fact that my body was still functioning revealed to me that I did indeed still have a brain.
So I took the brain into the bathroom and dumped it in my bathtub with some salt. I had read that putting a brain in salt keeps it preserved. Or maybe it's steak that you preserve by putting in salt. But no matter. If you, or somebody you know, might be missing a brain, call me. At some point. Preferably soon. It's a little disconcerting to have a human brain sitting in your tub. It makes taking a shower much less enjoyable.
Also, I found a liver in my flower garden yesterday, if anybody could use an extra one.
I've got some eyeballs in my pantry, too.