Wang
Caution! I just had a beef lasagne curry with extra bargies. I'd leave it a while before going back in there. |
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My Word Wang. Simple as.
A Brief History Of Wangs
The Emotionally Crippling Early Years
Wangs are widely acknowledged for expelling the primordial ooze from which we all originated. The parasitic worms had rivalled humans in the food chain throughout history, both were mid-table species of the Barclycard's Foodweb[1] until some time last march. During that time Roman Abramavich allegedly went at the lemonade pretty hard and awoke later in West-Pangea. He quickly bought both species and after a few signings and renovations the two were combined to create the super species "Homo-Sapiens". However the two creatures couldn't cojoin perfectly and side-affects became apparent.
The Pubescent Explosion of Maturity
Half of the humans weren't able to join with their wangs, causing it to simply drop off. This densely veiled chemical reaction gave purpose to the afflicted's nipples and tenderised their vocal chords. They seemed to like it though, and seeing no use for the men with wangs they broke away from the species, moving into the circle of life under the revolutionary "female movement".[2]
Everyone gets AIDS and Dies
The men with wangs experienced some teething problems however, they began to rapidly evolve every ten years or so [3] until poor old homo-sapiens had become slightly less recogniseable. In 2007 after much tweaking and species discarding the official legal human species was drawn up:
Human Species in order of exsistance
- Homo-Sapiens
- Homo-Slightly less Sappy-iens
- Homo-Seppiens
- Homo-Erectus
- Hetro-Erectus
- Homo-Eroticus
- Homo-Erotica
- Homo-Manly Man
- Homo-Genous
- Homo-Genius
- Homo-Zygous
- Homo-Gillette (The best a man can get)
- Homo-Ner (Home-owner, get it?) (Humans at this stage first moved out of caves and into constructed dwellings.)
- Homo-nojowo (similar to the HowNowBrownCow)
- Homo-Fad
- Hoff
- Homo- ¬_¬
- Homo-Lets go back to Sapiens 'cos that seemed to work
- Homo-Definitely
- Homo-Sapiens
- Homo-We could always spruce it up a bit, make it twice as good?
- Homo-Sapien Sapiens
Wang's History of Briefs
Wangs rule. They rule like that ruler shaped object I can just make the outline of through your briefs. That is a ruler, right?