When Pancakes Ruled the Earth

One time, a long time ago, when your mom was a virgin, there was syrup. Everyone wondered what to do with it. Then, on the horizon... PANCAKES!!! They charged, speared by the humans forks, and fell. That's how pancakes came to be. You want the truth? Well then, the pancakes came not from Earth... but from Neptune! The Pancakes became rulers of Earth, and humans were left to toil. But suddenly, along came Microwaves. the Microwave armies destroyed the Pancakes, and left Earth for a new life.