Why is a raven like a writing desk?

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"'Why is a raven like a writing desk?'"

So many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible; which led Alice to question: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

'It couldn't be because a raven could be written on,' said Alice, 'although I'm sure I have a scalpel at home with which I can test such a theory.'

'It couldn't be because a writing desk has tendencies to caw and stare evilly whilst sitting on a skull,' said Alice, 'although if I were to give hallucinogenics to Charles Darwin it may become feasible.'

'Perhaps a raven is, despite common belief, made of wooden material?,' Alice wondered.

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"'Human perception is quite questionable'"

'Or, of course, perhaps not. Human perception is quite questionable,' said the grandfather clock next to her.

'And yours isn't? Don't tell me you have the key to the ultimate reality?,' conspired Alice.

'Well well,' said the clock, complacently, 'It just so happens that I do. But said key is actually invisible, and requires,' the clock then pulled out a black bottle with

RohypnolRed Pill in Liquid Form

written on the front, 'this fascinating liquid to be consumed.'

'Oh!,' exclaimed Alice, 'thankyou for this wonderful opportunity! How may I ever repay such generosity?'

'Don't worry,' said the clock soothingly, 'I think I'll work it out myself, and let you know.'

Alice then took a large swig of the bottle and fell to the ground. As she slept she dreamt an ominous dream, in which a raven and a writing desk both took it upon themselves to assault her physically. As she screamed, bleeding and in agony, she asked rhetorically,

'Why has this happened to me?,' upon which the ultimate reality replied,

'Hey! Only one philosophical question per article, okay?'

See also

• Alice Liddell
• Lewis Carroll