YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA oh wait, why am I doing this?
Because it's fun, clearly.
Wait, actually, I think it's fun translucently. But not opaquely.
Please read the contents before proceeding.
The Opaque Rake
Once there was a rake. It was opaque. It was also blue and it was wearing shoes. It raked up all the leaves, and then the leaves raked it back. The rake was now collected into a pile.
Kids jumped on the pile of rake, and it was very annoying for the rake. However, it actually wasn't seeing as the rake didn't have emotions because it was an inanimate object.
Then they started jumping on a giant cake that would have been much better to eat than to jump on.
"What a waste!" yelled the inanimate rake inaudibly and inanimately.
"I'm a spoon," said a talking spoon that had come up next to the rake.
"I'm a rake," the rake didn't say.
"Nice to meet you, rake," the spoon did say.
"You can hear me?"
"Yeah, I'm an inanimate object too, you know."
"You call that inanimate?"
Okay, that was nice. Now where was I?
Oh, yeah.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Okay, now we'd like to introduce
I am not finished yet!
Continue.
I can stand on one foot. Now, I'd like a volunteer from the audience. Yes, you, with the ultraviolet shirt. Now, if you would please sit down here, and stick out your foot... (stands on foot) See? I can stand on one foot!
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
See, I'm standing on it, I'm standing on it!
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Okay, that's enough of that, now let's
I am not finished yet!
Well, at least get off the guys foot.
Okay.
Aah... aah, that really hurt... (goes back to seat limping)
So, anyway
I am not finished yet!
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not! I still have to do the Potato Trick, and the Banana Trick, and that other one --
Okay, now I'd like to present
I am not finished yet!
I don't care. So now it's time for
I am not finished yet!
Someone get this guy off the stage...
I am not finished yet!
({{insert random political figure}} takes the guy off the stage)
Okay, glad we got that over with. Now, let's go on to
(same guy pops out of floor) I am not finished yet!
Sigh... (walks over and stands on guy's head) See, I can do a head stand! Isn't that amazing? I can do a head sta-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND...
The guy is falling through the floor. A trapdoor opened up under the feet of the guy who popped out of the floor, and since the announcer dude was standing on his head, he fell through also. So that gets rid of the two of them, and leaves me free to demonstrate Newton's Laws of Hot Chocolate.