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“Hi it’s Oliver, um… I think you might still be out at the bus stop, or either Callum’s trying to speeeed his way home. In brackets: Um, but it doesn’t sound like he’s got home fast enough. Um… I just need to tell you, the teeny weeny problem is, Callum, Do NOT RING DADS HOUSE. BIG BRACKETS. Now, Callum, the problem is, um, there was bushfires, and um, the ph- You see my mum would have to drive, and on the side of the road there would be these huge towering, cough, towering fires, and um, cough cough, helicopters flying over the car. So, not very pleasant. So in the end she didn’t go to her meeting and so don’t call there Michael will tell you the whole sentence if you do, it’s not really a sentence, um… In some big brackets: RING ME BACK. Please ring me back and dial: 6-6-8-4-3- double 9-8 and um… in big brackets: PLEASE PLAY. In super big brackets: I’m just going to keep on chatting until you finally pick up the phone. In big brackets, um, in big brackets: Come to my place. In small brackets: That’s very funny! In big brackets: Let’s go to my place! In small brackets: That’s very funny! In big brackets: We might be able to go to the pool! In small brackets: We might even be able to play at my place! In big brackets: C’mon, let’s go.

Now, please ring me back ‘cause I’m getting sort of bored and you probably won’t be able to ring me back while I’m doing this because there’s a message going and you can’t ring me back while a message is going. Bleurgh! (Publishers Note: Oliver is wrong.) So bye bye. You’ve probably just called me on my mobile because I can here it ringing. I don’t think you actually know my mobile number but yeah. Very funny. Ow! Sorry, that’s my mum in the background. Um, I think she likes me talking so I’ll keep talking.

Oh yeah, by the way, um, When you get back call me straight way. Did I tell you my phone number? Uh, I’ll just tell you again. This is the longest message in the world, by the way. No, that’s not my phone number. But my phone number is - 6-What- what is it again mum? Oh yeah, that’s it. 6-6-8- Mum, what is it again? Oh yeah. 8-4-3-Double 9-8 Now, in big-“ (Publishers Note: At this point the phone cut him off. Either it did this because he couldn’t make a longer message or the phone was fed up with him. I think you’d agree that the latter option is correct.)