You slept with my girlfriend

From Uncyclopedia test II
Jump to navigation Jump to search
  This article has been touched
by the unhallowed, commercialised
hand of Satan!  
Click to see other entries
File:SatanPlushie.jpg


  • “That’s right, John! You slept with my girlfriend, you fucking punk!” Bill moved the gun to a more comfortable position in his hand. He was afraid John would make a run for it. “Bill, mate, what are you talking about? I didn’t sleep with your girlfriend!” John tried to pretend that Bill wasn’t holding a gun up to him. “I saw you,” Bill continued, getting even more tense. “You were going at it in the car! My car! You fucked MY girlfriend in MY car!” Bill was now waving the gun around the room wildly. “You couldn’t wait to have your way with her, ever since I started going out with her. I saw the way you looked at her!” Bill moved closer to John. --> (please continue)
  • He sniffed at John and then took a deep inhale. "I've smelled your cologne and her before, too, you mother fucker."
  • John Responded, "Man, You've got it all wrong! Jill and I are just friends! We hang out a lot, but we've never gone there. However, I think I know what you saw." John slowly sits down on the floor looking exhausted. "Jill and I both know that you would freak out if anything happened to your car, so when I slipped on my cheesy nachos last night, we were scrambling to get it cleaned up a quick as possible before you got home." He puts his head down in his hands and continues, "I do have something I need to admit, however. Jill and I get along great because we have something in common." He looks like he could cry any moment, but he held it back. "We're both obsessed with you. It started as just a crush a few years ago, but now I don't know how I could ever live without you Bill." John's very flush face looks up at Bill to gage his reaction. Bill's eyes harden he looks at John wondering if it's true or a lie to prolong his life. "What did you say?"
  • "I...", John stammered, trying to get the words out. "I..I..love you." Bill's expression remains unchanged.
  • Bill pulled the trigger and watched as John's head flicked back. Life was now simpler for Bill.
  • Or was it? Just as Bill was about to turn away, John's head raised up again, a bloody hole in one side and what looked like wires and computer chips inside. "I love you", came a mechanical voice from John as a arm shot out and grabbed Bill. "Oh God! No!", cried Bill as he fought with the unbelievably strong John. "Whats going on in hear?", came a voice from the front door. Bill and John both stopped and looked up; it was Bill's girlfriend...