Zork

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ZORK I: The Great Underground Empire
Copyright © June 22, 1979, 2005, 2006, 200X Unfocom, Inc. All rights reserved.
Revision 69105 / Serial Number ∞

West of House
You are in an open field west of a big white house with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here.

> Open mailbox
Opening the mailbox reveals: A leaflet.

> North
You are in the kitchen. There are cupboards and a door that leads to the yard outside. On the counter is a butcher knife. Next to the knife is a small, light blue tea cup.

You wonder what a butcher knife, designed exclusively for the slicing and hacking of flesh, is doing in a kitchen which is noticably absent of any meat storage or preparation facilities. In fact, you notice that the knife is awfully shiny for a kitchen utensil. It looks as if it's never been used. It's unstained. Untainted. Pure. Righteous.

> South
You are in the foyer of what appears to be a fairly decent home. There's an open living room off to your left and a flight of stairs
to your right, leading up. There is also a large, imposing door directly in front of you.

On hooks above the mantlepiece hangs an elven elfin sword of great antiquity.

> examine door
The door is locked, bolted, and hermitically sealed. Plus, I heard it said something nasty about your mom. You're not gettin' through there.

> go left
You are in the living room. The foyer is to your right and a doorway on one side of the room leads to a bathroom. There is a little kid here, humming to himself.

> talk to kid
The child, with tears welling up in his eyes, tells you that all his short life all he has wanted is a stick of Big Red chewing gum. "Do you have any Big Wed, mister? I'll give you my keychain if you give me some Big Wed."

> inv
Holy crap, you have gum. Unfortunately, it's Juicy Fruit, and slightly used.

> give kid gum
Upon seeing your Juicy Fruit, the kid's eyes light up and he wordlessly hands you the keychain. You foul excuse for a human.
You hear the sound of a door opening in the foyer.

> inv
You've got some clothes and a keychain. And they're not very good clothes, either.

> enter bathroom
You find yourself in a dingy little bathroom with no windows. The only fresh air is coming from behind you. There is a silver box chained to the plumbing.

> open box
It's locked.

> use keychain
It's a keychain, doofus, not a key. The box remains locked, and your mother remains a man.

> Back
You're back in the living room. The poor kid is sitting in the middle of the floor, bawling his eyes out.
"This isn't Big Wed!" You feel embarrassed at this remark. What are you going to do now?

> Apologize
The kid screams, "You bastard!" Amid his tears he produces a Pokey Ball™, and hurls it to the floor with a cry of "I choose you, Pikachu!"
The kid sent out Pikachu!

> west
Suddenly, a monkey pops out of nowhere and starts harrasing you. It then beats up the pokémon, and then takes what's left of the gum away from the now crying kid and chews on it.

> Kill monkey
You throw your pearls before the swine, and make the monkey blind. You watch the monkey get hurt. Monkey.
However, something knocks you out the trees, and you are eaten by... Peter Gabriel?? That's it, your dead.

It appears that last blow was too much for you. I'm afraid that you are dead.

As you take your last breath, you feel relieved of your burdens. The feeling passes as you find yourself before the gates of Hell, where the spirits jeer at you and deny you entry. Your senses are disturbed. The objects in the dungeon appear indistinct, bleached of color, even unreal.

> examine me
You appear to be made of a translucent floating white substance. There seems to be a golden halo hovering above your head.

> Quit

---

C:\> delete zork.exe
C:\> a:
A:\> copy zork.exe c:\

1 file(s) copied
A:\> c:
C:\> zork